Anesthesia Part 2: The Anesthesiologist
Last week we spoke about the aesthetics and how we use them to guide through our pains in our relationships. Let's go a little deeper, shall we?
I remember when I was getting my wisdom teeth taken out (I still don’t know why I wasn’t put to sleep for it) and I mistakenly looked at the needle that the dentist was holding and ALMOST passed out! I laugh at myself now because I told the dentist, “I was just playing I don’t want you to do it anymore.” Everyone in the room laughed -- including me. He responded to me with a heartfelt, “I’m sorry Ms. Jackson you’re already seated and although it will be a little uncomfortable it will help you in the long run.”
I knew what he was saying was true. Fear still gripped my heart and I had tears in my eyes. (The fear was so real!) In order to make myself feel better, I told him I wanted to give myself the shot! "He was so shocked by my comeback that he laughed, the assistants laughed, and so did I!!"I knew it sounded silly but I NEEDED to “feel like” I was in some type of control of this situation.
That’s what we do with God!
We want to bargain with God so that we can be in control of the pain when getting to the root of the issues in our hearts. I did the same with the dentist when I asked to hold the needle to inject the anesthetic; we tell God we’re not going to let people into relationship with us because “I may get hurt again like the last time” or “I don’t want to engage with a lot of people because they end up bringing me into drama, turning on me, talking about me, planning my demise, etc!”
We try to hold the needle to control where the numbing will take place to naturally protect our open and trusting heart toward people who may not know how to treat it. Therefore, we will “control” or show them how it is to be done yet making them pay for the pain they may not have caused in the first place.
Who really holds the needle?
Who is really the Anesthesiologist?
First off, an anesthesiologist is someone who is an expert and specializes in anesthesia and anesthetics. Last week, we learned that anesthesia (and an anesthetic) is “artificially induced for the loss of ability to feel pain, done to permit the performance of surgery or other painful procedures,” according to medicaldictionary.com. If something is done artificially then it is not original and has altered the pure intent by doing the opposite of design. The intent for anesthesia is to inhibit us from feeling.
If you look in the mirror then that is the answer to the question. Other than the Lord, we tend to believe that WE know OURSELVES better than anyone else. Therefore, WE know what PAINS us the MOST, the GREATEST, and the DEEPEST. As we grow to learn ourselves, we become strategic in all that we do including protecting our hearts and emotions. In order to insert the anesthesia into the designated area, the needle has to be very thin and sharp. This is to make sure there are precision and accuracy to the injection site. If the needle goes in too deep or shift to hit another nerve or unaffected area, it can cause irreversible damage, naturally speaking that is.
What I’ve learned is although we inject the anesthetics to protect ourselves in relationships, we are too numb to perform the surgery that is needed so we are left numb UNTIL someone who is qualified comes to perform it. “What makes a person qualified to perform the surgery?”, you may ask. Someone who has earnestly prayed, “Lord, create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Ps. 51:10). Someone who has believed the word of the Lord in Ezekiel 11:19, “And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh”.
What qualifies someone to come and perform the surgery is one who has stayed under the knife of God while HE, and He ALONE, becomes the one who is allowed to be the Anesthesiologist, His love, and grace to be the anesthetic and His joy to carry us through it.
Nothing is too hard for God...including our defense mechanisms towards Him.
The two-edged sword is: allowing God to be the Anesthesiologist AND allowing God to perform the surgery. Getting penetrated by the sword is one thing...pulling it out is another in this case. Going under the knife of God is one journey...waking up is another….
...To Be Continued…
Part 3: Awakened After Surgery
Stay with me...It will all tie together for the #RelationshipSeries